Aaaha – Oooho!

[Review of Indian Film]

Watching SJ Surya’s “Aahaa”, though the story is fresh for Tamil audience (wait, before you pat him on the back, more on that in 3rd para), you wonder ‘what if’ scenarios – what if Vijay/Shaam had played lead in this movie? coz SJ Surya just sucks! His gimmicks, mimics and that horrible voice modulation – unbearable! Add to that his fake machismo, tight close-ups of his 40+ face – so pretentious! – whats next ? His Autobiography?!

Coming back to the fresh story – well, I just said it’s fresh for Tamil audience. For anyone who has seen Charlie Kaufman’s Oscar winning movie ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ would immediately recognize it.

  • Jim Carrey/ Kate Winslet are live-in couples (SJ Surya/Nila are live-in couples)
  • They fight have minor tiffs, eventually escalating into break-up. (ditto)
  • Their memories refuse to die; even tho they try to forget each other (ditto)
  • Eventually the realize that they can’t forget each other – get back (ditto)

It even has the famous beach scene, photo arranging scenes – SJ just stripped out complex memory erasing part of Kauffman’s wonderful script and simplified it for Indian audience by dressing up memories in blue attire.

Overused Ultra-WA lens, unnecessary tight close-ups, loud production design, tacky acting, empty characterization and indigestible hero – we had to endure all this coz his last movie ‘New’ was a hit – I sincerely hope that this movie doesn’t click; I just cannot digest another movie with him in the lead!

** (2/5)

Hollywood tries to smarten up on Technology

Traditionally movies have been so much removed from real technology to point that its laughable. This fact has been repeatedly demonstrated by fake geeks in those summer blockbusters. They type ‘Search Password’ in a black screen and get the exact password blinking in a big white box or command the computer: ‘Access Secret Files’ which responds in robotic lady language ‘Accessing Secret files’. We all have seen timebombs with bright LED displays or a laptop with serial input to alien warships or those same alien warships running Windows98.

Anyways, movies by nature are meant to be fantasies. But when you transfer that same superior technological IQ to the real word, inhabited by real geeks, you get eaten alive.

So its no wonder that it was caught with its pants down when it came to movie piracy. It just didn’t have a clue where to look. When it had a chance to encrypt the digital format in DVD, it blew it by making an amateur attempt in encrypting the files, which was hacked within a week.

Since then it has been playing a mute spectator while all of its million dollar movies were floating around the net as zero dollar .mov files.

So with no end in sight to this digital hemorrhage, it did what Cable industry did way back in 1988 - outsource it. Today, 6 of the major studios are forming a multimillion dollar high tech research lab called “MovieLab” with a sole purpose of making Movies un-piratable.

  1. Killing it at the source:
    a) Jam the camcorder inside movie halls.
    b) Project the movie in such a way that its invisible to camcorders, but visible to humans, by modulating the frequency of projected images.
  2. Networking technologies to sniff & eat illegal file transfers on campus and business networks.
  3. Examining traffic to detect content sharing on peer-to-peer networks.
  4. Ways to prevent home and personal digital networks from being tapped into by unauthorized users, while not preventing consumers from sending a movie to more than one TV set without having to pay for it each time.
  5. Ways to link senders and receivers of movies transmitted over the Internet to geographic and political territories, to monitor the distribution of movies and prevent the violation of license agreements.

In a related note, last month Hollywood published its first set of standards for future digital content, where it padded itself crazy with all sorts of content protection.

But only a 14year old Russian hacker can tell how successful there are this time.

Canon announces its HD cam – XL H1

Is it a black XL2 ? Looks like it – but no, its the New HDV camera from Canon. Canon was holding its card tight until the last moment. When JVC and Panasonic was going media blasting with their HD Cameras everyone was looking at Canon – ‘Dude, are u going to say something?’ where is ur HD cam??‘. Now that Canon spilled the beans about its new HD Cam – there are two possiblities why it didnt announce it earlier in March at NAB @ Las Vegas (where traditionally new broadcast equipments are announced)

  1. It was ashamed of its megre HD offering
  2. It was waiting to steal the thunder in the final over of the day (sorry – cricket anology)

I think its a mix of both. Even though Canon knew of Panasonic and JVC’s plan 6 months back (coz they announced their plans back in March) its counter-offer is lukewarm at the best. But they are rushing to the market this November, one month before the Panasonic HD cam hits the market in December.

This new cam features:

  • 1080i resolution (that is ‘interlaced’ hence the “i”)
  • HDV – 15GOP (sucks! – its one thing to have stupid HDV – but 15GOP? when JVC has a cool 6GOP – thats a dumb move)
  • 60i, 30F and 24F (hmmm… no 24p - but we can give them the benefit of doubt when they say 24F=24P)
  • Uncompressed HD-SDI and SD-SDI output (thats cool for studio people to get RAW 4:2:2 data)
  • $9000 ships November (one month before Panasonic HVX200)
  • Intechangeable Lens system (this rocks!)

Except the Interchangeable lens mount – no other featureset seems to hold interest for me. And its almost 2-3K more expensive than JVC HD100 (which has interchangeable lens mount too)